Thursday, February 15, 2018

Week 5 Story: Raymond's Crush

I was always jealous of Rob. He had it all. He was the star quarterback on the school's football team, class president, had the coolest best friend, Hayden, who was almost like a sidekick, and most importantly, he had Sara: the most beautiful girl in the world. I always admired her from afar. We had a few classes together and I'd be lucky if she even accidentally bumped into me in the hallway. My family could never associate with the likes of Rob and Sara. My sister, Sharon, tried to ask Rob to the prom freshman year, and Rob's brother, Lawrence, humiliated her in front of the whole school. I actually wouldn't have even seen Sara if it weren't for that moment.

I was so upset that Lawrence embarrassed Sharon that I had to find out who did it. When she pointed him out the next day, he was sitting at lunch with Rob, Hayden and Sara. While I was mad at Lawrence for what he did to my sister, I couldn't keep my eyes off of Sara. She was captivating. She came from a wealthy family too. Her dad, John Sutherland, is in charge of the city's workout gyms. Rob even had to bench press in front of him before he asked Sara out, just to prove to her dad that he was strong enough for his baby girl. 

But I'm rich too. Money isn't much though when you have no one to share it with. We have butlers and maids at my house, but it's just me, Sharon and my uncle Mark that live there. No one ever comes around. "Raymond why don't you ever bring a pretty girl home?," the maids tease. I tell them that I have a girlfriend, but she lives in a different town. When in reality, the only girl I'll ever love is in the arms of another man. I have to find a way to take her from him. 

This story was based off of the Ramayana by Narayan. 

Authors Note: It takes a modern spin on the character of Ravana. I made him a teenager with a crush on the modern-day version of Sita. 

Raymond- Ravana
Sara- Sita
Rob- Rama
Hayden- Hanuman
Lawrence- Lakshmana
 Mark-  Maricha
Sharon- Shurpanakha
John Sutherland- King Janaka


  1. Wow Tib, I love how you modernized this! I kind of felt bad for Shurpanakha when I read the Ramayana. She didn't seem hateful or unreasonable. She just thought Rama was cute, but she was humiliated. I really enjoy that you took this from her family's point of view. That last line made Raymond/Ravana sound kind of creepy/stalker-like. I'm not sure if this was on purpose, but I like it. It's kind of like setting up for this storm that's about to let loose on Sara/Sita and Rob/Rama. Nice job!

  2. Hey Tib. I thought this story was very well done! I was actually very impressed with how you translated the names from the Ramayana into modern versions and interpreted the conflicts into modernized high school issues. I'm actually kind of sad we won't be seeing more of this version of the Ramayana; after finishing an epic, it would be really fun to read the same stories told about angsty high schoolers!