Tib, I just read your story, Ramond's Crush, on your portfolio site. It was so entertaining. I am a sucker for high school drama shows like Degrassi and Riverdale, so it was right up my alley. I really like that you tried to work all the characters from the original story into your own. You did a good job of modernizing the story, but staying true enough to the original that you could see the inspiration that you drew on. Some of my favorites were the mentions of the King Kong movies for Hayden and the bench pressing instead of stringing the bow in the Ramayana. One thing I think would be cool for you to do is include pictures of the characters or to describe more about their appearance since it draws you into the story more and you can envision it in your mind. I look forward to reading more of your stories!
Hello Tib! I like the theme of your portfolio site! I liked how you retold the story as a high schooler's drama. It makes it more relatable since high school is not too far from college. Like Blake, I am a sucker for high school dramas too! My favorite would be Gossip Girl or Riverdale. In this perspective, Raymond (Ravana) seems to be a character to empathize with rather and the protagonist rather than Rob (Rama). I liked how you made the story more modern but still tried to keep elements that made the characters unique, like Hayden with the King Kong movies. I also found your image to be funny. I love it! I am excited to see how you do your portfolio. Are you going to keep it as a high school drama theme or change it up?
Hey there Tib! I just got done looking at your site and was a little confused because it said it was a storybook site but too me I got a vibe that maybe it was meant to be a portfolio page. If it is indeed a storybook site you might want to give a little more information in the intro page to give the reader a little more background detail so we can get a better sense of what we are going to read. If it is a portfolio site like i think that great! Just maybe change storybook to portfolio. With that being said I loved what you were able to do with your first story "Raymond". I thought that giving a new age spin along with the other changes you made to Ravana was really fun! It was super easy to read and stay engaged with. I cant wait to see if you have more stories that have this modern twist on them. Maybe next time it'll be a college take on the Mahabharata! Keep up the good work!
Tib, I enjoyed reading the first story of your portfolio. I like that your retelling of Ramayana by Narayan was more modern and relatable. I enjoyed your story, and I like how you leave the reader on a cliff hanger when you end the story with, "I have to find a way to take him from her". That was great.
Telling the story from Raymond's point of view was a great idea because this gives the reader a chance to understand how he is feeling, emotionally. Also, Raymond's perspective is relatable for a lot of readers, so this was a good strategy.
I saw one thing that needs a small fix: "uncle Mark" should be capitalized, so just make sure you edit that to be Uncle Mark. I did not see any other mistakes, and I really enjoyed reading your story! I think you did an awesome job, and good luck with the rest of your project!
Hi Tib, thank you for sharing your story with us! I really enjoyed the way you shaped the characters and the unique part each one played in the story and throughout the plot. I thought the plot did well transitioning from stage to stage. The twist from the original story is super creative and I can tell you had a lot of fun writing it! That's the most important part. I am impressed by the vernacular used and the ending that left us with a question. I think you're an incredible writer and I look forward to reading more of your stories! I hope you enjoy week 8 of this class and have a great week!
Hi Tib! This week, we got to choose which portfolios or story books to read, and I remembered how much I enjoyed your previous stories, so I decided to read yours! I am doing a portfolio as well, so I like to see how other people are interpreting this assignment. I really enjoy your humor in your writing - "eat like me" was one that I caught right away! I hope that when other people read your story they notice the thought and humor you put into it! I like how the tone was relaxed and made much easier to understand. Sometimes these Indian epics can be hard to follow because of the language utilized, but you eliminated that issue! For your future writing, I think you could strengthen your stories by adding more dialogue. It simply livens the story and makes you feel like you are in the action yourself! Great job.
Tib, I just randomly clicked on your Indian Epics project and I was happy to read your first story was a recreation of The Ramayana. My final project is a recreation of the entire story into a high school world. I like how you recreated the characters into some more modern high school roles. Like King Janaka owning gyms and Rama having to take a test of strength by lifting weights to get Sita. I had not thought of these types of comparisons and really enjoy how you created it. I also read your second story about King Santanu. I like how you made him seen like a normal man daydreaming about finding love in the beginning. It made his character more human and not above what everyone else feels. I did notice in this story you had some wording and typo issues but you may not have had a chance to fix those yet. I know some people are using a pass this week. Great project. I cannot wait to come back and read more.
Hey Tib! You do a great job of characterization in your project. I love the way you make all of them have their own role and focus on the actions and words of them because it truly makes your story well developed and connects the reader with the events. I think your first story was my favorite part of the project as it seems to me you have truly tried to make the story your own recreation which is fun to read.I like the modernistic approach with talking about bench pressing because we all know how guys have some point in their life in today’s world tried to work out and how it seems like a needed quality to be strong for the story. I think overall you are doing a great job with the project as it is great plots, good art, and simple to navigate. I will be sure to read more as the project develops.
Nice to meet you Tib! I just finished reading your story: Raymond's Crush. I have to say you did an amazing job overall changing up the story all while keeping the orginal still within yours. You recreated it to be more easily read and more easily relatable. I loved how you ended the story. I have said that to myself many times. I wonder what would happen if she ever did return with their baby. Would the baby be different than a normal human? Maybe some sort of demi-god that gets its own narrative. You could create another story off this perhaps. What if you added more of a bond with the king and his babies. Make them an essential part to the reader. If the reader is invested in a character they will not want them to die, although maybe being a baby should be enough . Thank you for the good read!
Hey Tib! I love your version of Shantanu and Ganga's relationship. When I first read this story I thought that Ganga's "you cannot question anything I ever do" relationship stipulation was a huge red flag, and I am sure that everyone else had the same thought. So I loved your approach to that stipulation, "she just told me I was never allowed to question any of her actions. Seems normal...ish". The original just jumps straight to the baby drowning, but I love that you added out of the ordinary things that she did all the time that he wasn't allowed to comment on. The weird shirt, dessert before dinner, its fantastic. Keep up the good work!
Hey, Tib! It was great to visit your website and explore both your home page and the two stories that you have added. One thing I like about visiting my classmates’ websites each week is that I am able to observe and respect so many design and writing styles that are all so diverse. I feel as if I learn something new with every classmate’s website that I visit or story that I read. As I read your first story I really liked that it was so modern and relatable. I feel like your story is something very realistic that any one of us could have experienced during our years in high school. I think that this type of story is great to learn with. It is easy to learn new things such as the Ramayana because we are reading a story that is very relatable to us, but also includes important information about a new topic. Great job!
Hey Tib! I'm from the Mythology and Folklore class and I was really excited we got to read stories from this class this week! First of all, I was hooked on your story, "Raymond" immediately because I love when stories, especially old fashioned stories, have a modern twist on them! It was smart to change their names too! I like the detail you use when talk about when he first lays his eyes on Sara because it's a really important part of the story. Also, great job ending the story on a bit of a cliffhanger because it really makes the audience want to know if he gets the girl or not! You cold even add more detail of his plans to get Sara to make the story even greater. I think you did a good job really making the story your own! Great job and keep up the good work!
Your portfolio is one of the first ones I've seen that has that layout, and I really like it! Your idea of making Ravana into a high school kid is perfect, and his actions and thoughts really do make me believe that he's no older than 17. I particularly like the ending when you say, "I have to find a way to take her from him," because it's a really great cliff hanger and makes me want to continue reading more! You also did a great job of that in your second story by adding little bits of suspenseful sentences. If I had to suggest anything, I would say to maybe cut down on some of the names because they get a bit confusing. For example, I don't think it's super important to know the uncle or dad's name unless you plan on adding more details about them into the story later. Other than that, I think you did a great job! I look forward to coming back and checking out the rest of your portfolio!
The layout for your website was really nice and the background picture was really amazing. Navigating through your website was really easy and I was able to go comment section really easy too. I read your portfolio story on "Shantanu Meets a Girl" and it was really nice story. Shantanu who is King that would dream of having wife and kids just like a normal person. When he marries his queen ask of him to trust her and not ask her anything that she does. Well if I was in his place I would have ask her from the beginning what's going on? In the story you should have mention the name of the girl and there is some grammar mistake but beside that everything is awesome. I also like at the end where king ask her why she killing the babies because he wants his family to grow. I will look forward to reading more of your stories.
I really liked the layout and look of your website, it was the first one I've seen done this way! Your story "Raymond" was cute and I enjoyed the changes you made to make it more modern. You still included so many of the original details tweaked to fit the high school setting which I thought was really neat. "Shantanu Meets a Girl" was also really good, I think it was wise to tell this story from Shantanu's perspective as he's so flabbergasted by his wife's actions. I can't imagine being in his shoes and feeling like you can't question your wife as she murders your children. My biggest recommendation would be just to read your story out loud to fix a couple of grammar mistakes or clear up some sentence structures, but a quick editing session can quickly fix that! Great job, I'm excited to read more!
Hi Tib! I read through your portfolio and thought Raymond's Crush was really interesting. It's very solid and I can see it standing on its own without the reader being aware of the Ramayana. But for the readers that are aware, it gets much more entertaining. The names being close to the original names was a nice touch and all the different events being translated to a high school setting was interesting to read through. It's clear you put a lot of thought and detail into this story! I only wish it was a little longer, maybe it could end with Raymond thinking of ways to win her over which are mirrored in the book? It would be cool to see how Ravana lifting the ground up from Sita's feet would translate into a modern high school type of story after all. Anyways, I hope you add a third story soon, these are a pleasure to read through!
Hi Tib! I really enjoyed your writing on Stantanu Meets a Girl. You did an incredible job capturing the relationship between him and his wife and the anxiety that I am sure came with the chaos of everything. I definitely think you have a gift for being able to create an image and keep the image consistent through the story! You really elaborated on the personality types of the characters and that really set the tone for the rest of the story as well. I think your portfolio has a simplicity that offers easy navigation for the reader and is clearly set up. The stories are easily accessible and I thought the color you chose to set as the theme goes well with the theme of your stories you have written. Thank you for sharing your portfolio with us. I hope you have a wonderful week 13! I look forward to reading more from you soon!
Hey there Tib! Your portfolio website looked really good and it really standout from other website that I have seen. I especially like the design because it easier to read for me and I like black background with white font words. And I think you should have different banner picture based on what type of story you are writing that will make the whole page have different energy. Other than that everything looks really good such as the picture you put at the end of Raymond story I think it was really funny. I really like how you changed the whole story of Ramayana of war between Rama and Ravana to a high school story and it make the story more modern and like a love story. I also like how you made the story from the view of Ravana and that made it more interesting. Keep it up and good story.
Hi Tib! I enjoyed your "Three Fishes" story - you were able to make it come to life and allowed the readers to paint a picture in their head. One of your purposes for this story was to showcase the love that Very-Thoughtful had for his friends which definitely came across to the readers in the end. I enjoyed the comedic diary vibe from "Shantanu Meets a Girl." Even though the title of the story says the main character's name (Shantanu), it would not hurt to mention that his name is Shantanu in the beginning of the story. In addition, giving/saying the wife's name could also be a good idea so that readers can recognize her. This story is cool because it reminds me of a diary entry and since a man wrote it, I think it just makes it that much cooler. We do not see many men writing diaries. The story provided a glimpse into the real raw thoughts that Shantanu had which I thought made the story truly personable and relatable. Overall, great stories so far - keep up the great work! :)
Hi Tib great job on your Portfolio! I really like how all three of the stories are written differently. One is similar to the original story, one is completely new, and another is in the middle. I think that it fits really well for the Portfolio because it makes the stories easy and interesting to read. For the "Three Fishes" story I like how you didn't change anything. The Jataka Tales should be kept pretty close to the original in my opinion, so I really liked that you did that. One thing I would recommend for the first story is expanding more on the plot. There is a lot of setting up and not a lot of action so-to-speak. The third story is great as well, but I would recommend the same thing for the third story. Great job on your storybook so far and good luck finishing up Indian Epics!
Hey Tib! The portfolio is looking pretty good. I think it would be nice to clean up the navigation bar so the pages are listed horizontally instead of vertically. I think it would make navigation more clear to people visiting your site. It would also be nice if you included a description of your stories on your home page to give the reader a good idea of what it's all about. Your stories do a good job of modernizing the source material, but staying true to their message. The Raymond high school story is particularly creative and I think your style shows best there. You do a really good job of modernizing Rama as a character in a comparable social position in a modern setting like the star of a football team.It's easy to see the connection between the jealousy of Raymond and that of Ravana. Overall great job and I look forward to seeing how you finish it up.
Hey Tib, first of all, great stories! I thoroughly enjoyed looking at your blog. They are great stories. The pictures and the background really make the stories easy to think about and your lay out is completely easy to look through and get around. My favorite story is your third one where you talk about the guy in the football team. I think that is really funny and it adds an element of fun to your blog! Also, the author's notes makes sense of the story really interesting and I can see why you chose the stories. THanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more stories from you!
Hey Tib! I really like the design and layout of your website. I can clearly get a feel for the theme of your portfolio just by looking at your image selections and the titles of your different stories. I feel like you have done a good job at being cohesive with your stories so that as a whole your portfolio’s theme is clear. I really enjoyed reading all of your stories that you have incorporated into your portfolio. I really enjoyed reading, “Shantanu Meets a Girl” and I thought your story flowed really well and had some great dialogue between your characters. I feel like this gives your story more dimensions and makes it more interactive for the reader. Also, I feel like the concept for most of your stories were really creative and you did a great job at explaining the original stories in your Author’s Note! Overall, I think you have done a great job so far on your portfolio and I can’t wait to see what type of story you add next!
Tib, I just read your story, Ramond's Crush, on your portfolio site. It was so entertaining. I am a sucker for high school drama shows like Degrassi and Riverdale, so it was right up my alley. I really like that you tried to work all the characters from the original story into your own. You did a good job of modernizing the story, but staying true enough to the original that you could see the inspiration that you drew on. Some of my favorites were the mentions of the King Kong movies for Hayden and the bench pressing instead of stringing the bow in the Ramayana. One thing I think would be cool for you to do is include pictures of the characters or to describe more about their appearance since it draws you into the story more and you can envision it in your mind. I look forward to reading more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHello Tib!
ReplyDeleteI like the theme of your portfolio site! I liked how you retold the story as a high schooler's drama. It makes it more relatable since high school is not too far from college. Like Blake, I am a sucker for high school dramas too! My favorite would be Gossip Girl or Riverdale. In this perspective, Raymond (Ravana) seems to be a character to empathize with rather and the protagonist rather than Rob (Rama). I liked how you made the story more modern but still tried to keep elements that made the characters unique, like Hayden with the King Kong movies. I also found your image to be funny. I love it! I am excited to see how you do your portfolio. Are you going to keep it as a high school drama theme or change it up?
Hey there Tib! I just got done looking at your site and was a little confused because it said it was a storybook site but too me I got a vibe that maybe it was meant to be a portfolio page. If it is indeed a storybook site you might want to give a little more information in the intro page to give the reader a little more background detail so we can get a better sense of what we are going to read. If it is a portfolio site like i think that great! Just maybe change storybook to portfolio. With that being said I loved what you were able to do with your first story "Raymond". I thought that giving a new age spin along with the other changes you made to Ravana was really fun! It was super easy to read and stay engaged with. I cant wait to see if you have more stories that have this modern twist on them. Maybe next time it'll be a college take on the Mahabharata! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteTib,
I enjoyed reading the first story of your portfolio. I like that your retelling of Ramayana by Narayan was more modern and relatable. I enjoyed your story, and I like how you leave the reader on a cliff hanger when you end the story with, "I have to find a way to take him from her". That was great.
Telling the story from Raymond's point of view was a great idea because this gives the reader a chance to understand how he is feeling, emotionally. Also, Raymond's perspective is relatable for a lot of readers, so this was a good strategy.
I saw one thing that needs a small fix: "uncle Mark" should be capitalized, so just make sure you edit that to be Uncle Mark. I did not see any other mistakes, and I really enjoyed reading your story! I think you did an awesome job, and good luck with the rest of your project!
Hi Tib, thank you for sharing your story with us! I really enjoyed the way you shaped the characters and the unique part each one played in the story and throughout the plot. I thought the plot did well transitioning from stage to stage. The twist from the original story is super creative and I can tell you had a lot of fun writing it! That's the most important part. I am impressed by the vernacular used and the ending that left us with a question. I think you're an incredible writer and I look forward to reading more of your stories! I hope you enjoy week 8 of this class and have a great week!
ReplyDeleteHi Tib! This week, we got to choose which portfolios or story books to read, and I remembered how much I enjoyed your previous stories, so I decided to read yours! I am doing a portfolio as well, so I like to see how other people are interpreting this assignment. I really enjoy your humor in your writing - "eat like me" was one that I caught right away! I hope that when other people read your story they notice the thought and humor you put into it! I like how the tone was relaxed and made much easier to understand. Sometimes these Indian epics can be hard to follow because of the language utilized, but you eliminated that issue! For your future writing, I think you could strengthen your stories by adding more dialogue. It simply livens the story and makes you feel like you are in the action yourself! Great job.
ReplyDeleteTib, I just randomly clicked on your Indian Epics project and I was happy to read your first story was a recreation of The Ramayana. My final project is a recreation of the entire story into a high school world. I like how you recreated the characters into some more modern high school roles. Like King Janaka owning gyms and Rama having to take a test of strength by lifting weights to get Sita. I had not thought of these types of comparisons and really enjoy how you created it. I also read your second story about King Santanu. I like how you made him seen like a normal man daydreaming about finding love in the beginning. It made his character more human and not above what everyone else feels. I did notice in this story you had some wording and typo issues but you may not have had a chance to fix those yet. I know some people are using a pass this week. Great project. I cannot wait to come back and read more.
ReplyDeleteHey Tib! You do a great job of characterization in your project. I love the way you make all of them have their own role and focus on the actions and words of them because it truly makes your story well developed and connects the reader with the events. I think your first story was my favorite part of the project as it seems to me you have truly tried to make the story your own recreation which is fun to read.I like the modernistic approach with talking about bench pressing because we all know how guys have some point in their life in today’s world tried to work out and how it seems like a needed quality to be strong for the story. I think overall you are doing a great job with the project as it is great plots, good art, and simple to navigate. I will be sure to read more as the project develops.
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you Tib!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your story: Raymond's Crush. I have to say you did an amazing job overall changing up the story all while keeping the orginal still within yours. You recreated it to be more easily read and more easily relatable. I loved how you ended the story. I have said that to myself many times. I wonder what would happen if she ever did return with their baby. Would the baby be different than a normal human? Maybe some sort of demi-god that gets its own narrative. You could create another story off this perhaps. What if you added more of a bond with the king and his babies. Make them an essential part to the reader. If the reader is invested in a character they will not want them to die, although maybe being a baby should be enough . Thank you for the good read!
Hey Tib! I love your version of Shantanu and Ganga's relationship. When I first read this story I thought that Ganga's "you cannot question anything I ever do" relationship stipulation was a huge red flag, and I am sure that everyone else had the same thought. So I loved your approach to that stipulation, "she just told me I was never allowed to question any of her actions. Seems normal...ish". The original just jumps straight to the baby drowning, but I love that you added out of the ordinary things that she did all the time that he wasn't allowed to comment on. The weird shirt, dessert before dinner, its fantastic. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey, Tib! It was great to visit your website and explore both your home page and the two stories that you have added. One thing I like about visiting my classmates’ websites each week is that I am able to observe and respect so many design and writing styles that are all so diverse. I feel as if I learn something new with every classmate’s website that I visit or story that I read. As I read your first story I really liked that it was so modern and relatable. I feel like your story is something very realistic that any one of us could have experienced during our years in high school. I think that this type of story is great to learn with. It is easy to learn new things such as the Ramayana because we are reading a story that is very relatable to us, but also includes important information about a new topic. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Tib! I'm from the Mythology and Folklore class and I was really excited we got to read stories from this class this week! First of all, I was hooked on your story, "Raymond" immediately because I love when stories, especially old fashioned stories, have a modern twist on them! It was smart to change their names too! I like the detail you use when talk about when he first lays his eyes on Sara because it's a really important part of the story. Also, great job ending the story on a bit of a cliffhanger because it really makes the audience want to know if he gets the girl or not! You cold even add more detail of his plans to get Sara to make the story even greater. I think you did
ReplyDeletea good job really making the story your own! Great job and keep up the good work!
Hey Tib!
ReplyDeleteYour portfolio is one of the first ones I've seen that has that layout, and I really like it! Your idea of making Ravana into a high school kid is perfect, and his actions and thoughts really do make me believe that he's no older than 17. I particularly like the ending when you say, "I have to find a way to take her from him," because it's a really great cliff hanger and makes me want to continue reading more! You also did a great job of that in your second story by adding little bits of suspenseful sentences. If I had to suggest anything, I would say to maybe cut down on some of the names because they get a bit confusing. For example, I don't think it's super important to know the uncle or dad's name unless you plan on adding more details about them into the story later. Other than that, I think you did a great job! I look forward to coming back and checking out the rest of your portfolio!
Hello Tip!
ReplyDeleteThe layout for your website was really nice and the background picture was really amazing. Navigating through your website was really easy and I was able to go comment section really easy too. I read your portfolio story on "Shantanu Meets a Girl" and it was really nice story. Shantanu who is King that would dream of having wife and kids just like a normal person. When he marries his queen ask of him to trust her and not ask her anything that she does. Well if I was in his place I would have ask her from the beginning what's going on? In the story you should have mention the name of the girl and there is some grammar mistake but beside that everything is awesome. I also like at the end where king ask her why she killing the babies because he wants his family to grow. I will look forward to reading more of your stories.
Hey Tib!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the layout and look of your website, it was the first one I've seen done this way! Your story "Raymond" was cute and I enjoyed the changes you made to make it more modern. You still included so many of the original details tweaked to fit the high school setting which I thought was really neat.
"Shantanu Meets a Girl" was also really good, I think it was wise to tell this story from Shantanu's perspective as he's so flabbergasted by his wife's actions. I can't imagine being in his shoes and feeling like you can't question your wife as she murders your children.
My biggest recommendation would be just to read your story out loud to fix a couple of grammar mistakes or clear up some sentence structures, but a quick editing session can quickly fix that! Great job, I'm excited to read more!
Hi Tib! I read through your portfolio and thought Raymond's Crush was really interesting. It's very solid and I can see it standing on its own without the reader being aware of the Ramayana. But for the readers that are aware, it gets much more entertaining. The names being close to the original names was a nice touch and all the different events being translated to a high school setting was interesting to read through. It's clear you put a lot of thought and detail into this story! I only wish it was a little longer, maybe it could end with Raymond thinking of ways to win her over which are mirrored in the book? It would be cool to see how Ravana lifting the ground up from Sita's feet would translate into a modern high school type of story after all. Anyways, I hope you add a third story soon, these are a pleasure to read through!
ReplyDeleteHi Tib! I really enjoyed your writing on Stantanu Meets a Girl. You did an incredible job capturing the relationship between him and his wife and the anxiety that I am sure came with the chaos of everything. I definitely think you have a gift for being able to create an image and keep the image consistent through the story! You really elaborated on the personality types of the characters and that really set the tone for the rest of the story as well. I think your portfolio has a simplicity that offers easy navigation for the reader and is clearly set up. The stories are easily accessible and I thought the color you chose to set as the theme goes well with the theme of your stories you have written. Thank you for sharing your portfolio with us. I hope you have a wonderful week 13! I look forward to reading more from you soon!
ReplyDeleteHey there Tib! Your portfolio website looked really good and it really standout from other website that I have seen. I especially like the design because it easier to read for me and I like black background with white font words. And I think you should have different banner picture based on what type of story you are writing that will make the whole page have different energy. Other than that everything looks really good such as the picture you put at the end of Raymond story I think it was really funny. I really like how you changed the whole story of Ramayana of war between Rama and Ravana to a high school story and it make the story more modern and like a love story. I also like how you made the story from the view of Ravana and that made it more interesting. Keep it up and good story.
ReplyDeleteHi Tib! I enjoyed your "Three Fishes" story - you were able to make it come to life and allowed the readers to paint a picture in their head. One of your purposes for this story was to showcase the love that Very-Thoughtful had for his friends which definitely came across to the readers in the end. I enjoyed the comedic diary vibe from "Shantanu Meets a Girl." Even though the title of the story says the main character's name (Shantanu), it would not hurt to mention that his name is Shantanu in the beginning of the story. In addition, giving/saying the wife's name could also be a good idea so that readers can recognize her. This story is cool because it reminds me of a diary entry and since a man wrote it, I think it just makes it that much cooler. We do not see many men writing diaries. The story provided a glimpse into the real raw thoughts that Shantanu had which I thought made the story truly personable and relatable. Overall, great stories so far - keep up the great work! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Tib great job on your Portfolio! I really like how all three of the stories are written differently. One is similar to the original story, one is completely new, and another is in the middle. I think that it fits really well for the Portfolio because it makes the stories easy and interesting to read. For the "Three Fishes" story I like how you didn't change anything. The Jataka Tales should be kept pretty close to the original in my opinion, so I really liked that you did that. One thing I would recommend for the first story is expanding more on the plot. There is a lot of setting up and not a lot of action so-to-speak. The third story is great as well, but I would recommend the same thing for the third story. Great job on your storybook so far and good luck finishing up Indian Epics!
ReplyDeleteHey Tib! The portfolio is looking pretty good. I think it would be nice to clean up the navigation bar so the pages are listed horizontally instead of vertically. I think it would make navigation more clear to people visiting your site. It would also be nice if you included a description of your stories on your home page to give the reader a good idea of what it's all about. Your stories do a good job of modernizing the source material, but staying true to their message. The Raymond high school story is particularly creative and I think your style shows best there. You do a really good job of modernizing Rama as a character in a comparable social position in a modern setting like the star of a football team.It's easy to see the connection between the jealousy of Raymond and that of Ravana. Overall great job and I look forward to seeing how you finish it up.
ReplyDeleteHey Tib, first of all, great stories! I thoroughly enjoyed looking at your blog. They are great stories. The pictures and the background really make the stories easy to think about and your lay out is completely easy to look through and get around. My favorite story is your third one where you talk about the guy in the football team. I think that is really funny and it adds an element of fun to your blog! Also, the author's notes makes sense of the story really interesting and I can see why you chose the stories. THanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more stories from you!
ReplyDeleteHey Tib! I really like the design and layout of your website. I can clearly get a feel for the theme of your portfolio just by looking at your image selections and the titles of your different stories. I feel like you have done a good job at being cohesive with your stories so that as a whole your portfolio’s theme is clear. I really enjoyed reading all of your stories that you have incorporated into your portfolio. I really enjoyed reading, “Shantanu Meets a Girl” and I thought your story flowed really well and had some great dialogue between your characters. I feel like this gives your story more dimensions and makes it more interactive for the reader. Also, I feel like the concept for most of your stories were really creative and you did a great job at explaining the original stories in your Author’s Note! Overall, I think you have done a great job so far on your portfolio and I can’t wait to see what type of story you add next!
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